we have just returned from a 12-hour day, filled with every possible frustration and marked by constant pain. toby has completed day 1 of chemo cycle 4. he's sleeping fitfully upstairs and i'll wake him in a few minutes to pee and get some anti-nausea medication. he is hooked up to a huge backpack of chemo bags and fluid that sits on the floor near his bed. one of the chemo drugs can cause bladder bleeding and kidney failure, so we have to wake toby throughout the night to empty his bladder. it was determined today that toby cannot metabolize codeine, so the pain meds we were discharged with last night did not work to keep him even nominally comfortable. he was switched to morphine today, but still seems very, very tender and miserable. i want to give you all the details, but am so exhausted that it will have to wait until after chemo is over this weekend.